The Avoidant Partner & The One Who Loves Them

Understand your shutdown, honor your survival, and learn a new way to stay.

If you’re the one who pulls away, goes numb, or shuts down when things get emotional—or you’re the partner aching for closeness with someone who does—this mini-course is for you both. 

This Is For the Avoidant Partner Who Actually Wants to Change And the Partner Who Loves Them 

You don’t need another lecture about “communicating better.”

You’ve probably tried to talk.

You’ve promised yourself you’d stay open.

You’ve sworn, “I won’t shut down this time.”

And then it happens:

• Your partner wants to “talk about us,” or they’re hurt, scared, or angry
• Your chest tightens, your mind goes blank, or you get irritated
• You feel like you’re about to be swallowed, smothered, or emotionally consumed
• A switch flips: you shut down, get logical, leave, or “go away” inside
• Your partner feels abandoned and “not enough,” you feel trapped and misunderstood
• You both replay the same fight with different details

On the outside, you look calm, strong, and in control.
On the inside, it feels like:

“If I let you close, I’ll lose myself. I’ll end up taking care of your feelings again. I will disappear.”

This course is built for that experience.

For the love-avoidant, falsely empowered, wounded, avoidant attachment style distancer.

For Partners of Shutdown/Avoidant People

You’re not crazy for hurting.
You’re not crazy for wanting more.

If you’re the one on the other side of shutdown, you might:

• Feel like you’re talking to a wall
• Swing between “They don’t care” and “What’s wrong with me?”
• Over-explain, push, or chase for connection
• End up feeling needy, ashamed, or angry at yourself

This course will:

• Show you what’s actually happening inside your avoidant partner’s nervous system
• Explain how their fear of engulfment and your fear of abandonment lock into a shared pattern
• Give you language and structure to respond without chasing, cornering, or weaponizing this work

Important: This course is not a weapon. It’s a translator.

If you use it to diagnose, shame, or “prove” they’re the problem, you will push them further away.

You can still absolutely:

• Take the course yourself
• Learn the map
• Work your side of the pattern
• Invite them in if and when they’re ready
  

Why Nothing Else Has Worked (Yet)



Most advice you’ve seen isn’t wrong… it’s just incomplete and not built for the avoidant nervous system.

You’ve probably heard:

• “Just communicate more.”
• “Use I-statements.”
• “Stop stonewalling.”
• “Be more vulnerable.”

The problem?

None of that touches the real driver of your shutdown:

• Childhood emotional absorption – you were used as the emotional adult
• Deep enmeshment – no real emotional boundary between you and others
• Parentification – you had to hold other people’s feelings, not your own
• A core belief: “Closeness means being engulfed, smothered, controlled, or used.”

So when people come close now, your system doesn’t feel love.
It feels threat.

This course works differently because it is built on Kenny’s core frameworks:

• Worst Day Cycle™
  How the emotional pain from your worst days as a child is quietly replaying in your adult relationships.
• Falsely Empowered Survival Persona (Love-Avoidant)
  The part of you that uses distance, autonomy, logic, and shutdown to avoid being swallowed again.
• Authentic Self Cycle™
  Truth → Responsibility → Healing → Forgiveness as the path out of the loop.
• Emotional Authenticity Method™
  A concrete way to check in with your feelings first, then your body, then your story in real time, instead of just reacting.

This is not therapy-speak.
This is a roadmap.

What You’ll Learn and Practice Inside

In under 90 minutes, through short videos + a guided Repair Book, you’ll:

1. Finally Understand Your Shutdown (Without Shame)

• See shutdown as a Survival Persona, not your personality or a defect
• Understand how being engulfed, smothered, and emotionally used as a kid created your love-avoidant pattern
• Separate who you are from who you had to become to survive

2. Map Your Avoidant Worst Day Cycle™

You will:

• Identify your recurring fights and patterns
• Map the exact sequence: Trigger → Feeling → Body → Story → Shutdown → Relationship Impact
• See how your fear of being consumed and your partner’s fear of being abandoned reinforce each other

3. Catch Shutdown Sooner, Before You’re Gone

You’ll learn how to:

• Notice your early warning signs: irritation, dread, pressure, boredom, disconnect
• Use 10-second Emotional Authenticity check-ins in real time (feelings → body → gas/brake)
• Recognize when your Falsely Empowered Persona is grabbing the wheel

4. Build Regulated Distance Instead of Disappearing

You’ll practice:

• Clear, honest phrases that say:
  “I’m here. I’m getting overwhelmed. I’m afraid of being swallowed. Here’s what I can do.”
• Time-limited boundaries:
  “I need 20 minutes. I will come back at 7 and talk for 10 minutes.”
• The difference between escape and authored space—how to step off the court and return without ghosting

5. Turn It From Me vs You Into Us vs The Pattern

Together, you’ll:

• Name both sides of your dance: love-addict & love-avoidant, pursuer & distancer
• Write your shared pattern statement: your Worst Day Cycle™ as a couple
• Create a shared language so you can say, “We’re in the pattern,” instead of “You’re doing it again”

6. Create Your Shutdown & Engulfment Map

By the end, you’ll have a one-page map that includes:

• Your original childhood emotional job
• Your engulfment story
• Your Avoidant Worst Day Cycle™ snapshot
• Your early shutdown signals
• Your regulated distance phrases
• Your personal 30-day commitment to practice

This isn’t just “interesting insight.”
It’s a living tool you can use and refine.

What’s Included



Inside The Avoidant Partner & The One Who Loves Them, you get:

• 8 Short, High-Impact Video Lessons
  Introduction + 7 lessons designed for the love-avoidant nervous system—short, direct, and emotionally safe.
• Guided Repair Book (Downloadable PDF)
  With exercises for each lesson:
• My Starting Point Check-In
• Survival Persona Scan (Falsely Empowered Distancer)
• Original Job Description (How I Became the Emotional Adult)
• My Avoidant Worst Day Cycle™
• Pacing Check-In Log (Gas & Brake)
• Regulated Distance Practice (Staying Without Being Swallowed)
• Pattern Dialogue (Us vs The Pattern)
• My Shutdown & Engulfment Map
• 60-Second Teachable Intro Video
  A fast, direct overview to share with your partner so they understand the focus and safety of this course.
• Lifetime Access to the Course
  Go at your own pace. Revisit when old patterns resurface. Share with your partner if and when it feels right.
• Built-In Next Steps
  Clear invitations to deepen the work through:
• Emotional Freedom Assessment
• Additional Emotional Authenticity classes
• Coaching and deeper programs if you’re ready
  

This Course Is for You If…

• You recognize yourself as shutdown, avoidant, or emotionally distant—and you’re tired of repeating the same pattern
• You feel engulfed, smothered, or consumed by other people’s emotions, especially in intimacy
• You grew up being the emotional adult, therapist, or stabilizer in your family
• You’re afraid that if you let someone close, you’ll lose yourself again
• You want a clear, structured, emotionally safe way to understand and begin changing your shutdown
• You’re willing to tell yourself the truth and take responsibility for your side—without collapsing into shame

It’s also for you if:

• You’re the partner of a shutdown/avoidant person and want a trauma-informed map of what’s going on, plus concrete ways to respond that don’t make it worse

This Course Is Not for You If…

• You don’t actually want to look at yourself or your role in the pattern
• You want a quick trick to “fix your partner” without changing anything in yourself
• You’re looking for a full trauma-healing or reparenting program (this is a mini-course, not my full Emotional Authenticity Method Roadmap)
• You want a professional to diagnose your partner so you can win an argument
• There is active physical abuse or serious safety issues in the relationship (those require a different level of support and safety planning)
  

Trauma-Informed Guarantee

This course is built to be trauma-informed and shame-reducing for both the shutdown/avoidant partner and their partner.

That means:

• You will never be told “you’re just the problem”
• You will not be shamed for your Survival Persona
• You will always be reminded that your patterns are programming—and that you’re responsible for what you do with that programming now

This program was created for people who:

shut down

overreact

get overwhelmed

avoid conflict

get defensive

freeze emotionally

try hard but feel like they’re failing

You are not “too much.”You are not “too late.”You are not broken.

You are human.

You Can Go at Your Own Pace

There is:

no falling behind

no “shoulds”

no performance requirements

Your nervous system sets the pace.

You take the next step when you’re ready, not when a deadline tells you to.

You Are Safe to Be Honest Here

You will not be:

blamed

judged

criticized

emotionally punished

Inside this program, you will experience:

clarity

compassion

truth

safety

With Emotional Authenticity

you get to tell the truth about your experience without being made wrong for it.

You Will Always Have Support

You will know exactly what to do, step-by-step. You are not left alone to “figure it out.”

You can post private questions, and I WILL respond.

You are no longer doing this work by yourself.

After This Mini-Course: What’s Next?

This course is your first step, not your final destination.

If what you see here feels like your life on paper—and you’re done living it on repeat—your logical next step is an:

Emotional Freedom Assessment

A 1:1 blueprint session where we:

• Map your two Shame Personas
• Detail your Avoidant Worst Day Cycle™
• Identify your Survival Persona strategies
• Outline the exact work it would take to walk the Authentic Self Cycle™ and truly change this dynamic

From there, options might include:

• Deeper Emotional Authenticity classes
• Relationship-focused programs
• Private coaching to walk the Complete Transformation Roadmap

You’ll hear more about these options in the final lesson—but there’s no pressure, no push. Just honest next steps.

Final Word

If you’re the shutdown/avoidant partner, I want you to hear this:

You are not to blame for the engulfment, enmeshment, and emotional jobs you were handed as a kid.

You are responsible for what you do with that programming now.

If you’re the partner, I want you to hear this:

You’re not crazy.

You’re not asking for too much.

You are caught in your own Worst Day Cycle, and you deserve clarity and tools—not more self-blame.

If both of you are willing to step out of the old roles, even a little, this mini-course can be the beginning of a very different story.